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Anger is a very
human emotion. Anger becomes a problem
when it regularly interferes with your
relationship with yourself or with others.
Do you often feel embarrassed, guilty or
ashamed of angry feelings or behaviors you
exhibit? Do people often respond angrily
to you? Do people avoid you or complain
about your behavior? Ask yourself, "How
would I like it to be?"
To feel angry is
also human. What to do with angry
feelings, however, is not always easy to
answer. Underlying all anger is a
"fear-feeling". A fear-feeling may take
different forms. It may be raw terror. It
may be nagging anxiety or worry. Or, it
may be deep disappointment or concern that
some thing just isn't what it should be.
Anger often becomes a problem when the
underlying fear-feeling is about who I am
as a person.
It can be
difficult and painful to identify our
fears. It's normal for many of us to deny
our fears, to cover them up and want them
to go away. Often we crowd our conscious
awareness with experiences or behaviors
that dull our fears. Alcohol and drugs can
do this. Angry behavior itself can mask
the fear-feelings we experience. Problem
anger often uses habitual experience or
behavior to cope with fear.
To address anger
problems you must first accept your anger,
accept the fear that fuels your anger, and
accept your experience of the fear. This
means loving yourself, having
compassion
for yourself, being kind to yourself. My
method helps people identify the root of
their fearful anger, cultivate compassion
for self and feelings, and identify tools
and innate strengths to decide how to
behave (relate) with anger in the moment.
This may include learning stress-reduction
skills such as meditation.
The more we are able to just be with
ourselves in the moment when we feel anger
the more space we create to decide what to
do.
Thank you for
your interest in my practice. Please call
me with any questions you may have at
503-252-3739.
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